Karaoke Night
by Emper0rH0rde
Summary: DG and Jeb go for a date in the big city. Particularly in a karaoke bar where strange - and hilarious - things start happening after they arrive. Ch. 2 is now up! R&R, por favor!
1. Deep Breath Before the Plunge

D/c: If I owned Tin Man, especially the characters, you would know.

* * *

"May I ask where you're going, DG?" Ahamo bent down so he could look straight into his daughter's eyes.

Dorothy Gale, or as everyone called her, DG, and her boyfriend of eighteen months, Jeb Cain were sitting in DG's automobile, which had been a gift from her friend Wyatt Cain, who was the father of Jeb, for her twenty-first birthday. The sleek black vehicle was kept in a garage which had been erected near the stables.

DG sighed in slight exasperation. "Dad, I'm twenty-two."

Ahamo grinned at his daughter and leaned forward until his face was inches from hers. "I don't know any place called 'I'm twenty-two.' Is it in the Outer Zone?"

DG laughed and gave her father a playful shove. "You know what I mean!"

"So does that mean you're not going to tell me where you're going?"

DG threw him her sweetest, most innocent smile. "We're going to a calcio match at the Emerald Stadium! Right, Jeb?"

Jeb nodded, enthusiastically, grinning from ear to ear. "Garland Wanderers are playing Culver Forest!"

This time, it was Ahamo's turn to smile as he leaned forward again, until his forehead was practically touching DG's. "Nice try," he said, "but the Wanderers don't play until three days from now. Besides they're playing Kinland United, not Culver Forest. See, I'm quite familiar with the Premier League as well; I've been a Wanderers fan ever since I met your mother." DG's mother, Galina, Queen of the Outer Zone, had always had a warm and gentle air about her, but, unknown to most who didn't know her, she was also an avid sports enthusiast, and it was not uncommon for her to get very animated, to say the least, when watching her favorite calcio club.

DG and Jeb could only grin sheepishly in stunned silence. Ahamo started tapping the roof, still grinning at the cheeky pair. Jeb sneezed.

"Okay, okay," said DG, giving in, "we're going to Hick's Sports Grille & Karaoke Bar, a couple of blocks down from the Mystic Man's old place in Central City."

Ahamo's grin disappeared and was quickly replaced with a severe, scolding demeanor. "Why did you lie to me?" he demanded. "You could've easily told me you were going to the bar. Instead, you lied. Why?"

DG and Jeb's smiles evaporated almost as instantly as Ahamo's had, and DG avoided her father's eyes, while Jeb searched vainly for an escape – one for the both of them. Perhaps they could simply drive off? But then they'd get in big, BIG trouble. Not only would DG have to regain her parents' trust, and Jeb, his father's, but they'd probably also be forbidden to see each other. And that wouldn't be any fun. No, sir.

"Uh... because...um...well..." DG mumbled, feeling uncomfortable under her father's infamous stern stare.

Seizing his chance, Jeb leaped on the opportunity for a quip to lighten the mood. "Because we were waylaid by space aliens who forced us to lie to you under pain of radioactive death!"

Instead of having the desired effect, the joke backfired completely. Ahamo eyed Cain's son coldly, and spoke in a low, dangerous voice. "If I were your father," he said, "I would place you under house arrest for twenty-eight days for sassing the King of the Outer Zone!"

Scarcely daring to move, Jeb turned his head slowly, oh so slowly, toward DG. "Is... he always... like... this?" he asked carefully.

"Not... usually..." came the wary response. DG never took her eyes off her father, who clearly was in no mood for nonsense. She decided to make a gamble. Or was it a leap of faith?

"Have you been drinking, Dad?" she asked outright.

It was the wrong thing to ask at this moment. Because Ahamo's expression darkened, to an almost hypnotic glower that promised harsh discipline.

"Get out of the car, DG," he rumbled. Turning to Jeb, he added, "You too, Mr. Cain."

Without another word, the two young adults did as they were told, never once taking their eyes off Ahamo. Jeb fought the urge to lock his hands behind his head like a hostage would, or put his hands on the roof expecting to be frisked. DG just hoped her father wouldn't get her mother and/or Wyatt Cain involved in this little affair, and save her from any extra humiliation.

Then, to their extreme confusion, Ahamo got into the car's driver seat and revved up the engine, hands on the steering wheel. His impish grin came flooding back as he looked at the bewildered pair, rascality twinkling in his eyes.

"Did I fool you?" he asked mischievously.

Realization washed over DG like a bucket of warm water, and she shrieked in delighted and amused relief.

Jeb, having just realized that it was all a joke, threw back his head and burst out laughing, clutching at his sides and nearly doubling over. "You had me fooled from the start!" he managed to force out between guffaws. "You're good!"

"That's my Dad!" said DG, wiping tears of merriment from her eyes. "Thirty years of practical jokes and you still never see them coming!"

Ahamo put on his proudest, cheekiest smile, and revved the engine some more. "So how's this baby been running?" he asked, "Been doing okay with the oil and gasoline?"

"Oh, the gas is practically free! It's like a dream! I only have to pay about an eighth of what I would on Earth. As for the oil, well, Cain always changes the oil for me, which is nice even though I'm perfectly capable of changing my own oil," DG replied, leaning in the passenger window. "I love Cain," she sighed, with a smile, "he's like a third father."

"Third?" Jeb asked, confused. DG and her older sister Azkadelia both thought Jeb looked positively adorable when he was confused.

"Yeah, Galina and I had a pair of androids take care of DG while she had to be away," Ahamo explained, getting out of the driver's seat, "and they became her surrogate parents. After everything was, ahem, cleared up and taken care of, DG came back home and they went back to Milltown, where they originally came from. DG still goes to visit them regularly."

"Oh yeah, of course." Jeb chuckled in spite of himself. "Silly me."

DG gave Jeb an affectionate squeeze, and the latter blushed slightly.

"Well, don't let me hold you folks up," Ahamo said, abruptly, stepping away from the car. "Go on and have your fun-filled evening."

DG started in mock surprise. "You mean you're letting us go?" she gasped, her eyes wide.

Once again, that same scapegrace grin dominated Ahamo's face as he opened the car door for his daughter.

"Actually," he said craftily, "I'm going to punish you for lying to me by letting you go to the Sports Grille & Karaoke Bar!"

"Ummmm, how is that a _punishment_ for us?" DG had to ask. But, oddly, she practically regretted as soon as it left her lips.

Ahamo's grin was cryptic, his face alight with roguery. "Life is full of mysteries," he intoned. Neither his daughter, nor Jeb had anything to say to that. Maybe he was just a long-blond-haired practical-joking weirdo with a pie grin.

Speechless, DG and Jeb got into the car once again and drove off.

Ahamo looked after them, chuckling evilly. "You two have no idea what you just got yourselves into!"

_To be continued_

A/n: Okay, nobody actually sings anything in this chapter, but this is the set-up. The next chapter will have singing. I guarantee it!


	2. Welcome to the show

D/c: Characters and songs don't belong to me.

* * *

The bar was loud, and, being a Saturday night, full of activity, dancing people, and very bad karaoke singers. Some sap with a voice that could shatter titanium was doing his best to warble his own twisted version of Ricky Martin's 'She Bangs,' and failing miserably. Seriously, he was so bad, he made William Hung seem like Josh Groban. In fact, he was so horrible that Jeb had to make sure it was actually a person on the stage, and not a middle-aged baboon auditioning for the role of King Kong while simultaneously pretending to be Tarzan doing a Pavarotti imitation. DG, meanwhile, was laughing so hard she could barely keep her face three inches above their table.

It was only when the song ended that DG managed to regain control of herself, and Jeb leaned forward across the small table. "I don't think I can sit through another one of those," he said. "But fortunately, we have the power to prevent another one of those."

DG regarded him, though she still giggled every few seconds. "What's your plan?" she asked.

Jeb smiled. "We give _them_ something to think about."

In an instant, DG sobered, and she stared at Jeb with thinly veiled incredulity. "Surely you're not suggesting that we sing?"

"Why not? I _know_ I could do better than that other guy, and you're one of the best singers I know!"

"Jeb, karaoke is stupid. It's what American Idol is made of."

"What's American Idol?"

"Never mind. My point is, I'm not doing it. Because it's dumb."

"Dumb? It was your idea to come here in the first place!"

"I didn't think it would actually be karaoke night!"

"Karaoke night is every night, DG. That's why people call it a 'karaoke bar.'"

"Well, I think I should point out the fact that the general idea in coming here was to eat dinner. People - including me - do get hungry from time to time. It's biological."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No!"

"Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?"

"No no no, a million times no!"

"Well, well, well, speak of the devil!" called a familiar voice. DG and Jeb turned to see Wyatt Cain approach their table wearing his police uniform, his hat, and a big grin. "What a coincidece, running into you two here!"

Before Cain could continue, his son jumped up and immediately started talking at quite a brisk pace. "Hey, Dad, do you think DG would be good at karaoke? I've heard her sing, and she is AWESOME! I'm also not that bad myself, and I was thinking--"

"Go ahead, DG, what are you waiting for?" Cain interrupted, already grasping Jeb's meaning.

"The fact that karaoke is dumb," was DG's simple answer.

"Even if it was a song that you liked?"

"Well..."

"DG, come on, we'll laugh about it later! I'll buy you dinner!"

"You're going to have to do better than that."

"Ohhh, stop being a baby! Just this once!"

"Okay, fine. But only if you and Jeb go first."

"Umm, okay. I guess I know a few good songs. How about you, Jeb?"

"Are you kidding?" Jeb said, grinning from ear to ear. "The songs that I know could fill a book!"

"Then I'll let you go first," said Cain.

Without another word, Jeb bounded over to the stage and leaped up, grabbing the microphone before anyone else could. After making his request to the disc jockey, hard rock began to rumble from the huge speakers, and Jeb started to sing:

Ladies and gentlemen please  
Would you bring your attention to me?  
For a feast for your eyes to see  
An explosion of catastrophe

Like nothing you've ever seen before  
Watch closely as I open this door  
Your jaws will be on the floor  
After this you'll be begging for more

Welcome to the show  
Please come inside  
Ladies and gentlemen

Boom  
Do you want it?  
Boom  
Do you need it?  
Boom  
Let me hear it  
Ladies and gentlemen

Boom  
Do you want it?  
Boom  
Do you need it?  
Boom  
Let me hear it  
Ladies and gentlemen

Ladies and gentlemen good evening  
You've seen that seeing is believing  
Your ears and your eyes will be bleeding  
Please check to see if you're still breathing

Hold tight cause the show it not over  
If you will please move in closer  
Your about to be bowled over  
By the wonders you're about to behold here

Welcome to the show  
Please come inside  
Ladies and gentlemen

Boom  
Do you want it?  
Boom  
Do you need it?  
Boom  
Let me hear it  
Ladies and gentlemen

Boom  
Do you want it?  
Boom  
Do you need it?  
Boom  
Let me hear it  
Ladies and gentlemen

Boom  
Do you want it?  
Boom  
Do you need it?  
Boom  
Let me hear it  
Ladies and gentlemen

Boom  
Do you want it?  
Boom  
Do you need it?  
Boom  
Let me hear it  
Ladies and gentlemen

Boom  
Do you want it?  
Boom  
Do you need it?  
Boom  
Let me hear it  
Ladies and gentlemen

Boom  
Do you want it?  
Boom  
Do you need it?  
Boom  
Let me hear it  
Ladies and gentlemen

Jeb took a deep bow as the crowd applauded and cheered. A few drunk, but pretty, girls threw their bras onto the stage; Jeb's face flushed when he noticed. But he continued bowing as he stepped down and made his way over to the table where DG and his father were waiting. Cain had taken a seat, and was working on a tall, fizzy drink.

"How was that?" Jeb asked, a huge grin on his face.

"Wow, that takes _me_ back!" said Cain, as he gave his son two thumbs up. "Reminds me of my first rock concert. Ahhh, the good old days!"

"So who's next?" It was a question DG regretted almost immediately after asking. Scarcely had she finished breathing, when Ahamo marched onto the stage, dressed in a loose-fitting unbuttoned shirt that exposed his bare chest, weather-worn jeans with a belt and bucking horse buckle, and leather boots with brass spurs. A headband was wrapped around his head, and his face was dominated by the same puckish, scapegrace grin which was aimed squarely at DG.

"I believe I'm next!" he cackled, his eyes aglow.

_To be continued_

* * *

D/c: "Ladies and Gentlemen" belongs to Saliva.

A/n: Are you having fun yet? What do you think Ahamo will sing?


End file.
